MMA and White Men

Someone found this blog by searching for “why do only white people like mma” in Google. And so it begins – once again, the mixing of my chocolate in my peanut butter.

Anyone who has stopped by my other blog knows that studying race in my other all-consuming hobby – video games – is kind of my thing. I guess that snarky comment about white people and pseudo-gothic designs in MMA was enough to catch someone’s attention. So, if you’re still reading, mysterious Googler, pay attention to Pat M.’s take on Why White Men Love MMA.

1. Fight Club.

It’s an undisputed fact that white people – and, specifically, white men - love Fight Club. For those of you who somehow haven’t read the book, watched the movie, or touched popular culture in the last ten years, Fight Club is a story about a generic middle-class white-collar worker who falls in with a charismatic young Brad Pitt and starts rediscovering his lost sense of masculinity by beating the shit out of other generic middle-class white-collar white men.

This is what a Fight Club looks like. Note the Black dude and the Asian dude tentatively looking around on the right of the frame. They’re wondering how they accidentally wandered onto the set of American History X.

Of course, after the movie came out, everyone wanted to start their own fight club – and more than a few dipshits probably did. But everyone else decided to start doing MMA instead, because while it’s marketed as a gritty brutal senseless no-holds-barred “human cockfight”, it’s actually significantly safer than that. (Way to catch the point of the movie, guys.)

It’s even safer if your involvement with the sport consists of watching a few DVDs, trying out the free class at your local MMA McDojo, and plying your friends with free beer and food so they’ll come to your UFC parties and listen to your “informed” color commentary. Complete with drunken reenactments on the front lawn of how you would have fought that fight.

Non-white men are also susceptible to the allure of rediscovering their masculinity, especially if they’re also middle/upper-class. However, it’s not quite so strong as it is in their white counterparts. See, while two white people beating each other up is called a “fight club”, but when I beat up a white dude it’s called a “felony” and when a white dude beats me up it’s instant grounds for a riot. Neither of those last two outcomes sound quite so cool as “fight club”.

For younger generations, replace Fight Club with Karate Kid Never Back Down.

2. White People Suck At Boxing.

White people-defenders, don’t bother correcting me on this one. I don’t know anything about boxing, really. I do know that white people were the distinct minority at the boxing gym I trained at (King’s Boxing Gym, Oakland, CA) and the last white boxer I played in a video game was Little Mac.

The last Great White Hero of Boxing.

When I hear about anyone in boxing though, it’s almost never white people. Pretty Boy Floyd. Roy Jones Jr. Mike Tyson. George Foreman. Muhammad Ali. Balrog. Manny Pacquiao (WOOOOO FILIPINOS). No cracka-ass-crackas in there, that’s for sure.

Now, it’s no secret that the media is controlled by white men, so if I don’t see or hear about anything but people of color in boxing, it must be because white people have finally gotten tired of seeing people who look just like them get legally-sanctioned ass whoopings on TV by people of color without seeing the police intervene.

Basically, the world of boxing is for white men what the real world is to anyone who’s non-white or non-man. So no boxing for white people.

3. Pro Wrestling Isn’t Real.

If this is news to you, you probably shouldn’t be reading this blog.

It’s no big secret that young white boys use professional wrestling, along with Slipknot, Limp Bizkit, and, well, each other, to vent their aggression out. This works pretty well, save for the occasional paralysis-by-backyard-Stone-Cold-Stunner, until they realize one day that the dramatic combat they see unfolding every Friday night at 8pm isn’t real. This process is actually a notable event in a young white boy’s life, and is seen by society as a coming-of-age ritual. (On average, this seems to occur during the mid-twenties or so.)

This is what nurtures young white men for the vast majority of their young adult life.

Unsurprisingly, this sends their world crashing down around their head. Once they’re back in this impressionable state, their aggression could send them down all different kinds of paths. Some become Neo-Nazis. Others take to drinking heavily. Some others watch too much Fight Club (see #1). A rare few channel that into their career and their family. No matter where their newly found energy leads them, however, the end outcome is always the same: MMA. If you’ve ever wondered where these guys end up, it’s usually here. 

That’s it for now, although I suppose if anyone likes this I could write more. For more info on the subject, go check out Fightlinker’s Guide to Shitty Affliction T-Shirts.